Once upon a time... In the meantime, from and to.

you’re so green

Thu, 09 May 2013 07:06:07 -0400

you’re so green

Mineral Buffalo Tom

Thu, 09 May 2013 07:05:07 -0400

Mineral

Buffalo Tom

Give me a life that’s not a series of ‘you hurt me, so I hurt you’. Peace, and...

Sun, 05 May 2013 11:03:36 -0400

Give me a life that’s not a series of ‘you hurt me, so I hurt you’. Peace, and love, and honesty. Please.

just now

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:06:10 -0400

momentary peaceful I’ll take you anytime

the calm—the less than reeling, something sweetly

filled with children watching movies and the lingering aroma of the dinner we just shared—

and though my heart sits heavy often (always) in some ways

the truth is so much lighter than a hiding and the settling I’m doing in my loneliness is brighter than a life under a thumb—

morning light

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 14:04:38 -0400

morning light

Funny how sometimes habits can turn on a dime. Things you did for a long time, because your heart is...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 10:01:00 -0400

Funny how sometimes habits can turn on a dime. Things you did for a long time, because your heart is the way that it is, you stop doing, not because your heart has changed, but because it made no difference. And the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result. Sometimes, it’s not even a result you hope for—though it would be nice to think your presence or absence ever meant anything—it’s about what you should do professionally, and also to feel like you’ve zipped the edges, and accepted what was clear as day—despite the years of denial. I had a therapist who said to me on more than one occasion: “Go with the hope instead of the hurt.” But the fact is, ultimately, you have to go with your gut, and mine has never been wrong. It doesn’t matter what the words are if the actions are completely the opposite, and as another therapist pointed out to me, my biggest issue has always been not being worth much to anyone, beginning in those very formative years of early adolescence. Circumstances beyond my control. and yet I have picked myself up all throughout my life and found a way to survive every cut, every loss, every floundering, and every blow. Sometimes a picture is just a picture, words are just words. And sometimes taking charge of my life by being more quiet, or less visible, is a way to heal from the inside out.

Shine

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 13:28:00 -0400

Shine

Lou Reed Satellite of Love Suddenly in my head first thing this...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:10:00 -0400

Lou Reed

Satellite of Love

Suddenly in my head first thing this morning. Odd, because I don’t listen to a lot of Lou Reed or The Velvet Underground (though they were certainly played enough in my house when I was little). Anyway, since it’s going around on the turntable in my mind, I might as well share.

One out of three ain’t bad

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 09:47:17 -0400

One out of three ain’t bad

under a blanket of stars comfort to take from the sky lie on my back while I count all the breaths...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:49:58 -0400

under a blanket of stars

comfort to take from the sky

lie on my back while I count all the breaths we take

wonder of wonders gone by

The Band Up On Cripple Creek The Ed Sullivan Show...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 06:59:36 -0400

The Band

Up On Cripple Creek

The Ed Sullivan Show 1969

Sigh…SUCH great music <3

Mangled and broken by careless storms, yet still it blooms, and...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 12:02:38 -0400

Mangled and broken by careless storms, yet still it blooms, and more interesting and beautiful for its many scars, at least to those with eyes to see.

A wee bit chilly this morning, but I’ll take it....

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 10:42:11 -0400

A wee bit chilly this morning, but I’ll take it. #aprilstaycation

Still waters (they’re not for everyone)

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 21:39:31 -0400

Still waters (they’re not for everyone)

Sometimes people don’t recognize the everything they are. They don’t see their own...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 21:31:32 -0400

Sometimes people don’t recognize the everything they are. They don’t see their own gifts, their own beautiful light—not really. And the need they have to be, and prove, and constantly seek leads them away from their own beautiful self. That always makes me so sad to see. The basic trick is, no matter how lonely, how hard and tough the road is, be who you are. Be real. As for me, in the words of Bette Davis, “It’s better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you’re not. It’s a sign of your worth sometimes, if you’re hated by the right people.”

none for nothingness

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 20:56:39 -0400

wrapped in a silence, golden like sunset

perpetual radiance stretched out but cold

except for the see-through haze from a clear view

crossing the distance, fingers of soft light

so thin and so quiet

ancient but brand new…

Sometimes you find things out years later, even if it doesn’t feel like years. Sometimes, some...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 20:57:41 -0400

Sometimes you find things out years later, even if it doesn’t feel like years. Sometimes, some hurts never really go away and the poems have dried up for a while. So you move on in different ways. Kind of. Still wondering why you were always worth so little.

Photo

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:41:38 -0400

It’s not really love if it doesn’t make you want to be a better person.

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 21:00:00 -0400

It’s not really love if it doesn’t make you want to be a better person.

Sometimes things revisited are sweet, and sometimes a reminder...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:08:00 -0400

Sometimes things revisited are sweet, and sometimes a reminder of what’s missing, love. And this can capture both, to feel, the hope of springtime that’s not there. The chill of winter still in the air. What once was there, but hangs itself. Takes two to mend. Two to repair. One flight of two just for our kids. One flight, always just so alone.